| |
| |
|
|
|
Who Controls YOUR Happiness?
Where does happiness fit on a scale of 1 to 10 in your life? Is that a silly question? Who's in control of your happiness?? Well, if you want to maintain continued happiness in light of difficult moments then start by identifying your thinking. Often this means that some of the way you think about certain things may need to change. Change is difficult for many people, especially when it involves changing a behavior that you have practiced over and over again (such as drinking, smoking, overeating, etc.) And with the change often comes strong emotion. But human beings have a wonderful ability to change how they feel by changing how they think. So how do you know what feelings to change, and aren't we SUPPOSED to feel certain emotions in light of the situations we experience? The answer is yes, and no. Yes, it is inevitable that we will experience emotions in relation to life events. And no: how we feel is determined by how we think about these events. Feelings are like the weather, an ongoing part of life, which will change when the right conditions present themselves. They are neither good nor bad, they just are. Rain exists because atmospheric conditions are right for this event to happen. Feelings exist because of the thoughts you have in relation to the events in your life. Certain thoughts create uncomfortable feelings and other types of thoughts create feelings of joy, contentment, and happiness. The question is not whether you should have feelings, but rather are the feelings I'm experiencing helping me to achieve my goal(s) or are they hindering this process? Generally speaking, feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, and guilt tend to produce behaviors that hinder our life goals. That's why we want to change them. Not because they are intrinsically good or bad, not because we shouldn't feel them, but simply because they tend to interfere with having our wants and desires met. Like the weather, if conditions are right, it rains. If the thoughts are right for anxiety, you will experience anxiety. If the thoughts are right for depression, then depression it is. Fortunately for all of us, altering atmospheric conditions is much more difficult than altering our thoughts. Although changing thoughts is not easy at times, it is much more controllable when you are taught how, then practice. Anger, anxiety, depression, and guilt are what we refer to as the 4 Blocks to Happiness. Anxiety, for instance, tends to produce behaviors such as avoidance, isolation, self-medicating (drinking, drugging, and overeating) and many negative physiological changes. These may include lack of concentration, memory loss, muscle tension, headaches, diarrhea or other bowel disorders. Unless you find benefit in experiencing these symptoms, these are why we want to change these feelings. They are uncomfortable, and not goal oriented. Anxiety does not help us get what we want. Finally, feelings are similar to a weather barometer. They are the gauge to whether we are on track, enjoying our lives, achieving our goals, keeping us out of conflict with others, and preserving our life and limb. We WANT to experience emotion. Lots of intense, as well as, moderate feelings. "It is not the idea that my son is doing well and enjoying his life, but truly how I feel about him enjoying his life. It is the happiness I feel watching him grow, mature, and find meaning to his existence." The feeling is the reward for our action, it is what we as humans seek in our day-to-day experience. Feelings are also the alarm bell, telling us to slow down, seek consult, take another look, or simply work harder. Sometimes we feel we are on a roller coaster: it can be exhilarating and it can also be frightening. You judge for yourself, but remember whatever you are feeling you can change. Expect progress rather than perfection and the journey will be much more manageable. About The Author Dr. Thomas is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with a practice in Tampa, FL. He has been counseling people to feel better for over 21 years. This article is posted at www.stressgroup.com. He is also the co-author of Quit Smoking-Be Happy!-see www.quitsmoking-behappy.com to learn more.
MORE RESOURCES: Buy Website Internet Traffic. Website online advertising. Buy full page popunder advertising and increase website traffic to your sites. Bad Credit Loans - Loans for people with bad credit. Access online government grants and financial credit services instantly online. Digital Streaming Radio On Your Mobile Phone - La Vella Mobile Radio. La Vella Mobile Radio Gives You Access To Over One Hundred Of The Hottest Streaming Radio Stations From Around The World And Brings Them To The Palm Of Your Hand, Right On Your Mobile Phone. Get Streaming Radio On Your Cell Phone! Audio And Video Streaming For Multimedia Purposes. This Is A Complete Step By Step Guide To The Beginners Who Want To Install And Setup Audio And Video Streaming For Multimedia Purposes On The Internet.
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Can You Really Let Go Of Your Huge Internal Struggle? When I was in graduate school for psychology, we had a fellow student by the name of Allan who was running a successful clinical practice and had joined our program to improve his credentials. He had a remarkable track record of successful case histories. Achievement and Happiness the 80/20 Way If there was ever a principle that was responsible for the most happiness and achievement in the world, it would be the 80/20 Principle.The 80/20 Principle or Pareto Principle was discovered in 1897 by an Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto while he was searching for patterns of wealth and income in England. Keeping You Confident! We can all be confident when we are sure of ourselves and knowledgeable about the situation in which we find ourselves. But what happens when we are not so sure and when we are forced to step outside our comfort zone? What happens to our thinking?First we need to control our thinking then we need to develop techniques for remaining confident in a wide variety of scenarios and to catch ourselves when confidence begins to wane. Follow Your Bliss Gail was a quiet, shy, young lady. She has been quiet and shy for as long as she could remember. How Can I Tell What Vibes Im Sending Out? The Law of Attraction exists in your life right now; whether you understand it or not, whether you know it or not, and whether you like it or not.Until you learn to use the Law of Attraction in a deliberate way, most of the time you are not aware that you are attracting into your life-more of-whatever you are giving your focus, attention, and energy to. Lifes Like that It is now 5 years since I passed out of college and started working. I love working. The Great Opportunity I assume you want to be happier. Searching for greater happiness is a wonderful thing whatever level of happiness you are currently at. Chasing The Whats Next Are you an adrenaline junkie who is looking for balance? I call people who achieve success, but yet also have a balance in life - Activators.However, a lot of times, as Activators, we become so entrenched in the cycle of doing, fearful that we revert back to our habits as Procrastinators. Living a Balanced Life - The Real Juggling Act I just read an installment from another self-improvement course that states that celebrities are unhappy because they don't have gratitude for what they have. I disagree. Being Together When it comes to happiness, togetherness is probably the most common cause of such feelings.Being together means more than just close proximity. Where is Your Happiness? Past, Present, or Future?? Achieving a level of personal happiness previously unknown is closer than you think. Much closer. Get Right! Make a Difference Want to make a difference? What can one person do? The answer is everything! In its finest sense, the behavior of every one of us is central to the peace of the world. For the individual, the best thing we can all do is to practice Right Action, with all of its many implications. The Gift is in the Giving I have to be honest. I made the woman cashier at BIG! LOTS cry. How To Be Outrageously Happy You can be as happy as you want whenever you want. Zen masters have proven this - all you have to do is just "be" with whatever you have right now. Can Existential Therapy Give You a Sense of Wellbeing? My journey to becoming a therapist began with a desire to develop greater significance in my life and improve the quality of my relationships. Having worked as an organisational psychologist for many years, my work increasingly involved coaching senior managers in the art of managing their organisations. Our Feelings and Attitudes Around Happily Ever After Our feelings and attitudes have a huge impact on our ability to achieve 'happily ever after.' Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how we respond? Does the person experiencing them have any choice in the matter? What if they are in conflict?Feelings are what they are. Forgive to Succeed - Im Talking to the You Behind Your Eyes If your blood is still pumping through your veins, you very likely have some forgiving to do. When you truly forgive, you serve yourself much more than you serve the person you are forgiving. Getting In Touch With Your Inner Feelings Every disease or ailment, whether it be cancer, diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure or something else, has a series of warning signs. In ever case, when we experience an abnormality, we tend to move quickly to do something to get back to normal. How To Achieve Absolute Happiness Everyone wants to be happy. When you decide to be happy you are opening the door to love and inner peace. If You Can Dream It you Can Do It! Confuscious, the Chinese Philospher is quoted as saying : "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember.
|
